WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT PORN (and with the kids)

The first part of RTE’s documentary “We Need To Talk About Porn” (RTE "We Need To Talk About Porn") set the scene and is an important step towards lifting the lid on the Pandora’s Box that is pornography, and instigating the much needed discussion on porn and its impact on society.  There can be little doubt that porn can be damaging to participants and consumers, but where the real danger lies is with our children and young people.

The documentary’s research found that 69% of Irish adults have been exposed to porn, but the equivalent facts for children (UNICEF Change the Future A5 Report - Sexual Health Behaviour) make grim reading: 

• 78% of sixteen year old males and 40% females ad watched pornography online
• 21% of teen boys find out about sex via porn
• 1 in 5 saw porn as a source of information about sex (37% males and 11% females

One contributor on RTE’s documentary said that 11 years is when boys first access porn, and Unicef Ireland’s data is that 19% of boys lose their virginity between the ages of 13 and 15... so that means a worrying 2-5 years of watching 'learning' about sex from porn

Teen boys’ interest in porn is arguably a ubiquitous part of growing up.  But where it differs these days, is that whilst previous generations would have found it difficult to find hard core porn, now it’s not only easy to access but it’s free as well.  This point is made and explored in the documentary “Is Childhood Shrinking?” (Newstalk Documentary "Is Childhood Shrinking?") which investigated how and why Irish children are growing up faster than previous generations, and named the pressures on today’s children.  In particular, the pressure on teens to behave more adult like and to present themselves in a particular way featured strongly in the documentary, and this included the consequential impacts of porn and the constant proliferation of an often sexualised image and message in today’s advertising, music videos and social media:-

“The heightened sexual nature of the modern age infiltrates everything… there’s a fine line between music videos and porn”… or as Kian Egan pointed out “Sex Sells” and Wreaking Ball’s 609 MILLION views in 7 months, and Blurred Lines’ 301 million views proves the point.

Both research and the professionals cited in the programme were unanimous in their viewpoint that constant exposure to sexualised images normalises it.  So if on one hand we have the omnipresence of sexualised imagery in everything around us, and on the other easy, 24/7, free access to porn… what’s the overall effect?

“Porn on The Brain” (Channel 4."Porn On The Brain") was a Channel 4 documentary on the subject and it found a similar brain response to porn cues, as in nicotine or drug addicts.  So porn has a definitively profound effect on the brain and on behaviour.  And presenter Martin Daubney – who incidentally published the infamous lads’ mag Loaded so by his own admission is no stranger to porn and sexualised content -  argued that teen’s free access to online porn was like free access to nicotine.

Youth gives a significant added dimension to the impact of porn, as the regulator part of brain ie the questioning part, doesn’t kick in till after teenagedom.  So porn’s effect on the brain is “all accelerator and no brakes”, fuelled further by teen’s age-typical appetite for instant gratification and risk taking.

But critically, how porn plays on the vulnerability of youth, is that for many teens their first introduction to sex is porn, but without any filters, censure or informed discussion (less than a third of Irish teens find out about sex from their parents).

And as RTE’s documentary showed, and as Martin Daubney put it in “Porn On The Brain”, something has changed with porn.  Now it’s all about male domination and female humiliation, “[the internet is a] rolling buffet of online depravity” that to unwitting teens who take their sexual cues from porn, misrepresents what is typical and traumatises a generation of teens who are introduced to sex via such sites.

With the nature of hard core porn one wonders if porn is actually exploiting the more open notion of sexuality that currently exists, and taking it to a fantastical and far-removed from reality extreme?

In 2013 David Cameron was accused of creating a "moral panic" about young people's access to and consumption of porn.  Yet UK research amongst teens found that:

• 1/5 boys depend on porn as stimulant for real sex (University of East London)
• 23% have trouble controlling their porn habits (University of East London)
• And 10% of girls and 13% of boys said what watching is becoming more and more extreme (University of East London)

I suspect there’ll be similar comments following RTE’s piece.  But how much ‘evidence-based’ research and how many professionals have to speak out before modern society looks itself in the mirror and says with integrity and conviction ’enough is enough’?

The broader issue that all of these documentaries about porn and the sexualisation of childhood throw up, is how and where do (should) our kids find out about sex.  Invariably it’s not at home and school sex education isn’t up to much?  But if it’s online or via friends then today’s teens are in fact cobbling together a skuued version of what sex is, what is expected of them, and what they can expect of their sexual partners.

I don’t want my kids growing up in a society where 1 in 4 young people in Ireland has texted sexual or naked pictures of themselves (Internet Safety for Schools Ireland) to stave off sex they’re not ready for (as explained by Colman Noctor in “Is Childhood Shrinking?”)

I don't want to live in a society where there's pressure to lower the age of consent (as mentioned but also countered by then Minister for Children & Youth Affairs Frances Fitzgerald in “Is Childhood Shrinking?”). 

The critical point here is that today’s kids’ have virtually uncensored and un-policed access to the adult world, warts and all, and this impacts on childhood as the child tries to make sense of the world and their place in it.

There’s no silver bullet.  Controlling/changing to any large extent the environment in which childhood exists is not possible or perhaps anthropologically desirable, but we can still and need to, support and encourage our children to have a positive sense of self, and be more resilient to better manage the risks and issues they face.. and this includes sex and porn. 

As adults we need to have the courage to keep ourselves informed rather than shy away from difficult issues and conversations

And society needs to discuss childhood more, and to be more cognisant of our collective responsibility to making it as positive as possible for our children. 

As more programmes are broadcast on the subject, progressive and unhindered discussion should inevitably follow.  And this, along with a hard look at education, I think are good starting points.